u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize
