I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
These 29 Nasty People Went To The Bathroom In Public
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!