Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
I just gift wrapped bread.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
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