You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
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