can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
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