oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Randomize
