I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
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