i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
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