Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
