The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
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