I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
