Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
