Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Randomize
