are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Randomize
