Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
Randomize
