Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Randomize
