Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
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