He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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