After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
Randomize