garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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