you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Randomize
