the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
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All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
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She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth