its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize
