so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
