1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
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