I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
We have so much sex to catch up on
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
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