I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
