U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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