garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
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