I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
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