I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
then he tried to convert me to islam
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
there is puke in my bra ... again
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
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