Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (416): View more from Ontario

  He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.

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  (416): He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed. http://tfl.nu/o4xt
  Replies (46) Good night (7914) Bad night (810)
• Favorite

  (786): View more from Florida

  I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.

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  (786): I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction. http://tfl.nu/2rxz
  Replies (58) Good night (1230) Bad night (7290)
• Favorite

  (203): View more from Connecticut

  tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.

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  (203): tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer. http://tfl.nu/kiay
  Replies (10) Good night (5141) Bad night (962)
• Favorite

  (718): View more from New York

  We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.

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  (718): We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate. http://tfl.nu/1mwi
  Replies (14) Good night (1236) Bad night (4618)
• Favorite

  (330): View more from Ohio

  The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.

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  (330): The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops. http://tfl.nu/2l9n
  Replies (11) Good night (4637) Bad night (1135)
• Favorite

  (248): View more from Michigan

  If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.

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  (248): If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes. http://tfl.nu/zk30
  Replies (1) Good night (2301) Bad night (1014)
• Favorite

  (818): View more from California

  The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling

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  (818): The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling http://tfl.nu/93rl
  Replies (8) Good night (3925) Bad night (1040)
• Favorite

  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?

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  (832): Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday? http://tfl.nu/ynw6
  Replies (16) Good night (4554) Bad night (1446)
• Favorite

  (903): View more from Texas

  Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now

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  (903): Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now http://tfl.nu/6vco
  Replies (3) Good night (1482) Bad night (1064)
• Favorite

  (919): View more from North Carolina

  I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.

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  (919): I have a cut on my head from a tambourine. http://tfl.nu/wa5x
  Replies (3) Good night (1417) Bad night (511)
• Favorite

  (207): View more from Maine

  you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.

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  (207): you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy. http://tfl.nu/cio1
  Replies (6) Good night (1646) Bad night (451)
• Favorite

  (315): View more from New York

  The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.

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  (315): The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me. http://tfl.nu/qtoi
  Replies (6) Good night (1398) Bad night (404)
• Favorite

  (212): View more from New York

  That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."

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  (212): That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood." http://tfl.nu/okr0
  Replies (1) Good night (983) Bad night (526)
• Favorite

  (303): View more from Colorado

  Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue

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  (303): Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue http://tfl.nu/w6vq
  Replies (3) Good night (390) Bad night (649)
• Favorite

  (214): View more from Texas

  Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.

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  (214): Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it. http://tfl.nu/tru6
  Replies (1) Good night (471) Bad night (204)

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