Texts From Last Night

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  (303): View more from Colorado

  I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.

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  (303): I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs. http://tfl.nu/2lff
  Replies (62) Good night (6453) Bad night (750)
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  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.

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  (405): he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love. http://tfl.nu/r7jm
  Replies (19) Good night (6106) Bad night (1020)
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  (912): View more from Georgia

  Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.

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  (912): Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up. http://tfl.nu/ccc0
  Replies (4) Good night (4286) Bad night (820)
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  (774): View more from Massachusetts

  there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?

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  (774): there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours? http://tfl.nu/8xmr
  Replies (7) Good night (4030) Bad night (824)
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  (360): View more from Washington

  Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.

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  (360): Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours. http://tfl.nu/m716
  Replies (4) Good night (546) Bad night (1455)
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  (512): View more from Texas

  That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.

  (210): View more from Texas

  It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?

  (512): View more from Texas

  Is your card paying for my plan b?

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  (512): That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender. (210): It was my card, so what do you care that you lost? (512): Is your card paying for my plan b? http://tfl.nu/703j
  Replies (12) Good night (1364) Bad night (2823)
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  (425): View more from Washington

  i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea

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  (425): i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea http://tfl.nu/bucj
  Replies (8) Good night (1475) Bad night (569)
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  (347): View more from New York

  we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now

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  (347): we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now http://tfl.nu/ncyn
  Replies (3) Good night (552) Bad night (973)
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  (541): View more from Oregon

  Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.

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  (541): Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule. http://tfl.nu/eokl
  Replies (28) Good night (3903) Bad night (874)
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.

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  (412): Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night. http://tfl.nu/dy0t
  Replies (4) Good night (694) Bad night (429)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.

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  (203): Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached. http://tfl.nu/x9l2
  Replies (4) Good night (722) Bad night (433)
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  (910): View more from North Carolina

  Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.

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  (910): Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night. http://tfl.nu/7zcy
  Replies (0) Good night (313) Bad night (632)
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  (619): View more from California

  had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx

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  (619): had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx http://tfl.nu/v96h
  Replies (0) Good night (435) Bad night (286)
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  (315): View more from New York

  well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people

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  (315): well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people http://tfl.nu/1v0e
  Replies (3) Good night (287) Bad night (529)
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  (952): View more from Minnesota

  My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo

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  (952): My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo http://tfl.nu/hnma
  Replies (0) Good night (408) Bad night (196)

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