Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
23 People Noticed Deal Breakers in Their Partner A Little Too Late
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
23 Millennials Confess The Things They Wish They Weren’t Attracted To
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.