Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
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