he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Randomize
