DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
Randomize