Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Randomize
