i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Randomize
