Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
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