My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
