It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
