He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
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