4 words: hood of his car
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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