So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
I deserve to be covered in dicks
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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