we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Randomize
