So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Randomize
