one might say we're banned from that church
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
Randomize
