i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Randomize
