Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize