Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
