then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
