Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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