You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
Randomize
