Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
