He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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