I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
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