if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
her vagine was all disorganized.
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
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