dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
