well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
