Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Randomize