why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
Swine flu is the new snow day.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Randomize
