Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
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