I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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