There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
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