let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
