2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
