You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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