While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
Randomize
